ica

2007-05-28
10:21:43

denna helg var.. bra?

Jo den här helgen blev bra ändå...

det började med att jag å några såg på pirates of C 3  och ja den hade sina bra stunder, var kul å så...
 på lördagen var sovmorgon bara att glömma då vi (vårt program skulle ha vårat KM på stallet
Fick en utskällning (eftersom vi inte kom dagen innan och hjälpte till att göra i ordning... men men, det gick sådär.. vi sålde lite fika å så... tävligen var slut vid ett tiden så då var det bara att plocka undan allt...

under hela dagen så fick jag å kompisarna de tråkigaste sysslorna, bara för att alla var sura på oss.. ingen bpratade mer än nödvändigt med oss, å om det gjorde de så var det mer sura anmärkningar att någon av oss var tvungen att hjälpa till på hoppbanan, att vi var tvungen att hjälpa till att plocka undan(fast vi redan höll på, och sedan när jag å nonnen burit 16 dressyrstaket bitar, så fick vi skäll när vi vilade i några minuter.... så det var en kul tävling...)

somnade när jag kom hem...


söndagen då??
jo, gjorde värsta balfrissan efter att jag gjorde klart svenska grejerna...
bakade bullar medan jag pluggade spanska glosor
lyssnade på mer musik medan jag smakade på mina fina färdiga bullar....

kunde inte somna och blev väckt i min slummer när den diskreta grannen kom hem.... tillslut efter att ha läst lite så somnade jag faktiskt, medan jag funderade på vad MAria i miun berättelse skulle få göra härnäst...
kom fram till att en saftig mardröm vore kul...^^


nåja det var det ska på klf nu...

HEJ!!!
2007-05-08
21:55:35

blank, quiet and... well something else.

Yesterday was a weird day. Yeah I can begin with that.
I wasn't depressed, just low and blank. I was with some friends after school at school, and we had a good time. I helped them with their maths and so on. But then, while we were going home one of them started to super ignore me and the other didn't notice I think. So there I all began. I started to feel uncomfortable. When I came home I had to do some shopping for my dinner today to my other friends. I felt that I didn't want to be alone, but walked, away anyway.  After my shopping in the local store I met one of my "other friends", she didn't seem to be over exited to se me, just a normal hello, how are you..? Like friends do, and that's was normal, nothing special, but in my special mood, this became special. So a bit sad I walked the rest of the bit to my lovely apartment. Finally at home I still didn't want to be alone, so I ate a fast dinner and thought that I should go to my "other friends". It turned out that the one I chose didn't want any visits that day, so I walked home again. I thought that it was normal that she didn't want any gests, she sometimes don't, but in my state this wasn't normal at all, when I came home again I nearly started to cry, and I didn't know why? There was no reason to cry.  While I tried to figure out what the problem was the tears dried out and I started to tidy up my apartment (know it is very nice) and I tried to learn a new Photoshop. I have never used that programme before, so it was really hard to do something, I thought. I listened to radio, about religion and seekers who don't know what they believe or not, while I did that. At that time I was very low, but not depressed. I felt confused and blank. That I couldn't be angry or feel any joy. (Good for the computer, because I didn't understand a thing and just tested every function. When something went wrong I just sighed and tried again) anyway, I was bored, alone and couldn't visit any one, because I didn't have any self-coincidence. Sometimes I feel that I should stay home, because if I visit any one I will interrupt and they can't see their programme, read or phone anyone. I feel that if I visited my friends I would be unwelcome. And I hate that feeling, because I can't fight it. I did my best when I tried to visit earlier that day, and there I for once wasn't welcome, but if I had tried with some one else I guess they have would let me in?
    The thing I made in Photoshop turned out to be a mirror of myself at that moment. I felt like the picture shows. The bright colours are there because I wasn't depressed, but I felt unsecured. The chaos of colours shows that I didn't have any balance at all, my apartment isn't me now, it's too tidy up. I'm usually not pedantic, but that evening I couldn't have anything at the wrong place.  I was confused about my self, because the way I acted yesterday evening isn't me at all. And yet I can't explain everything in the right way, you wouldn't understand , everyone's favourite phrase, you don't understand, and the one  I can't explain.


image1

My head was a sea of chaos, but I didn't think about anything, I was empty minded...
Colours means a lot for me, so I guess I will continue to express myself in colours in this kind of way...
 Today it was a light version of yesterday, I wasn't nice to people, not ugly either. I was what they would call tiered, ok, I really was tiered, because I couldn't sleep last night, but all wasn't because of that. Guess that I'm finished now?This is not depressed just a bit low?/Ica
2007-05-07
10:18:07

Helger e bra!

Ja jag har haft en strålande helg där jag å fia recade och gjorde vägarna osäkra med Jonna och Messa på lördagen... i det omväxlande vädret for vi fram och fick nästan inte stopp ibland... fort gick det...
sedan myste vi på hästryggen i solen  när vi kom tillbaka tilöl stallet och ville inte sitta av...

Men men... allt har ett slut.... så då gickl vi ner till samhället igen och gjorde iordning middagen med Sari...
tacos och filmkvälöl en fin kombination.... mycket mat blev det....

sedan sen lunch hos fia dagen efter med film.... hela dagen försvan och egter att ha ätit sedan ca kl.1 så gick jag å Sari hem vid fem halv sex tiden.... satt ute i snålblåsten med den lilla gnutta sol som var innan min tvätt blev kvar och vi gick in.

kunde sedan inte somna på kvällen.. men tja jag kom upp idag ändå...


ska kanske få min tand på onsdag (hoppas jag) så det blir spännande.


állt gott! /Ica